Sunday 16 November 2008

Questions left unanswered in the bottom of a bottle..

Did I turn to drink because I was already damaged? Or did drink do this to me? My head feels dense and my thought processes seem to be rotting-I can feel myself becoming less coherent. Is it too late for me to turn things around? There is one feeling that remains which is so immense and consuming that the only remedy is to drown it out with copious amounts of that warm, thought-numbing liquid so readily available on nearly every street corner.
After all, after having pushed so many people away, what is the only thing you can rely on to distract you from the problems you face? Whilst loneliness is feared, it is also craved. The sacred kind of solace which leaves you free to drink to your heart’s content; regret and shame are minimal when there is only your reflection to judge you. I drink socially and to excess. When everyone else has made their way home, I’ll pocket the bottle of wine we shared and sneak off to the comfort of my own bedroom. If we are in a pub, I’ll cautiously find my way back to the bar between rounds and neck a few more safe in the knowledge ‘I’ve got one over’ on the rest of my drinking chums. House parties are easy pickings for me and perhaps the saddest but simultaneously hopeful thing about all this is that I am aware of how ridiculous I am behaving.

This blog is an account of my struggle with alcohol. Amongst the girls who we so often see in newspaper images of ‘binge-drinking’ Britain, there is one who is neither proud nor boastful of how battered she gets. Every day I am forced to remember and re-live the consequences of my drinking. Whether it is the scars on my wrists, my blotchy red face and yellow stained teeth, the keepsakes from relationships I’ve ruined or the empty inbox in my phone- there is no end to the damage I have done. However, amongst all this, I have hope and I want things to change.

6 comments:

Mary Christine said...

There is an answer if you are ready for it. You don't have to live this way.

Unknown said...

Mary Christine,
You are from your father, the devil and you prefer to do what your father wants. He was a murderer from the start; he was never grounded in the truth; there is no truth in him at all. When he lies he is speaking true to his nature, because he is a liar, (John 8: 44)

SATANIC ILLUSION WAS BASIS OF ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS!

PLEASE ENTER HELL, MARY CHRISTINE!

Unknown said...

TWELVE STEPS AWAY FROM CHRIST
Mr. Bill Wilson, founder of Alcoholics Anonymous (A.A.) and creator of the twelve-step program. Mr. Wilson was heavily influenced by demons.

Chapter sixteen (p. 275f) of 'Pass It On' The Story of Bill Wilson and how the A.A. message reached the world records Mr. Wilson's use of the ouija board, participation in séances, psychic events, "spook sessions", table levitation, and how he would receive "messages" from "discarnate" spirits.

Bill Wilson was clearly in contact with demons, and this is the man who created the deceptive twelve-step program.

Make a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him. (Step #11.) The last part of this statement ("as we understood Him") is enough to damn your soul! God says, Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. (Proverbs 3:5).

This is the exact opposite of "God as we understood Him." All men, according to Romans 1:18-32, are condemned before God, because they rely upon their own understanding (Romans 1:21; Ephesians 4:18, "having their understanding darkened"), and they create (in their own darkened minds) a god of their own making (Romans 1:23).


To encourage people to turn their "lives over to the care of God as we understood Him", is to encourage people to "turn their lives over to a god of their own making" (i.e. according to their own understanding).

This promotes nothing more than spiritual death (Revelation 22:15). In addition, these twelve steps are a deceitful attack against the saving work of the Lord Jesus Christ (i.e. they are against Christ, anti-Christ, 2 John 7; Colossians 2:8-10).

The twelve steps are (as Mr. Wilson used them) given as an answer (a way) in which one can overcome sin (with Mr. Wilson's case, the sin of drunkenness).

Jesus Christ is the ONLY answer for sin. He is the only way (John 14:6). There is only ONE "step", and that is faith in the Saviour (Ephesians 2:8/Matthew1:21/John 8:36/Romans10: 13!

The above exemplifies the "twelve steps" are what are used to "become free from addictive, compulsive" behaviour (i.e. sin). In other words, the twelve steps are the saviour!

No doubt it is deceptive, because "Biblical principles" are interwoven throughout; but if they weren't, few (if any) would be deceived. One good question to ask would be, "Where does Scripture talk about any 'twelve steps'"? The answer? Nowhere!

These twelve steps come from Satan (via Bill Wilson), who is the master deceiver (Revelation 12:9). Remember, SATAN. used Scripture to tempt Christ (Matthew 4:6), and Balaam spoke much truth (Numbers 23-24); but he was a false prophet (2 Peter 2:15-16/Numbers 22).

In Matthew 7:13-14 Jesus warned, Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it.

Jesus likewise warned in Luke 13:24, Strive to enter through the narrow gate, for many, I say to you, will seek to enter and will not be able.

Unknown said...

BILL WILSON'S PACT WITH SATAN

From Bill's Story:
Co - founder of AA, Bill Wilson's story has been in every edition of the book Alcoholics Anonymous.


With ministers, and the world's religions, I parted right there. When they talked of a God personal to me, who was love, superhuman strength and direction, I became irritated and my mind snapped shut against such a theory.

To Christ I conceded the certainty of a great man, not too closely followed by those who claimed Him. His moral teaching -- most excellent. For myself, I had adopted those parts which seemed convenient and not too difficult; the rest I disregarded.


My friend suggested what then seemed a novel idea. He said, "Why don't you choose your own conception of God?"

That statement hit me hard. It melted the icy intellectual mountain in whose shadow I had lived and shivered many years. I stood in the sunlight at last.

It was only a matter of being willing to believe in a Power greater than myself. Nothing more was required of me to make my beginning.

I saw that growth could start from that point. Upon a foundation of complete willingness I might build what I saw in my friend. Would I have it? Of course I would!

Thus was I convinced that God is concerned with us humans when we want Him enough. At long last I saw, I felt, I believed. Scales of pride and prejudice fell from my eyes. A new world came into view.

The real significance of my experience in the Cathedral burst upon me. For a brief moment, I had needed and wanted God. There had been a humble willingness to have Him with me -- and He came.

But soon the sense of His presence had been blotted out by worldly clamors, mostly those within myself. And so it had been ever since. How blind I had been.

At the hospital I was separated from alcohol for the last time. Treatment seemed wise, for I showed signs of delirium tremens.

There I humbly offered myself to God, as I then I understood Him, to do with me as He would. I placed myself unreservedly under His care and direction. I admitted for the first time that of myself I was nothing; that without Him I was lost.

I ruthlessly faced my sins and became willing to have my new-found Friend take them away, root and branch. I have not had a drink since. Simple, but not easy; a price had to be paid.

It meant destruction of self-centredness. I must turn in all things to the Father of Light-SATAN who presides over us all.

These were revolutionary and drastic proposals, but the moment I fully accepted them, the effect was electric. There was a sense of victory, followed by such a peace and serenity as I had never know. There was utter confidence.

I felt lifted up, as though the great clean wind of a mountain top blew through and through. God comes to most men gradually, but His impact on me was sudden and profound.

For a moment I was alarmed, and called my friend, the doctor, to ask if I were still sane. He listened in wonder as I talked.

Finally he shook his head saying, "Something has happened to you I don't understand. But you had better hang on to it. Anything is better than the way you were." The good doctor now sees many men who have such experiences. He knows that they are real.

While I lay in the hospital the thought came that there were thousands of hopeless alcoholics who might be glad to have what had been so freely given me. Perhaps I could help some of them. They in turn might work with others.

Unknown said...

THE SACRED BULL

12 STEPPERS have sold their souls to the devil. Fortunately, I was saved through the power of Jesus Christ, but for many years had been exposed to the evil “satanic cult” (Alcoholics Anonymous) Wilson (AA) has prostituted himself & deluded millions (12 STEP GROUPS) by worshipping the god Moloch (Ba’al the Sacred Bull). It all started with his (Wilson) “drug induced hallucination”….

Here are references to séances and other psychic events….

Bill would…”get” these things …long sentences, word by word would come through….” (22)

, he asked for guidance….The words began tumbling out with astonishing speed….(23)


So A.A.’s 12 Steps were actually received verbatim from the demonic world. It is not surprising, then, that the effect of A.A. upon many of its members is to lead them into occult involvement.

In 1958, Wilson wrote to Sam Shoemaker,
Throughout A.A., we find a large amount of psychic phenomena, nearly all of it spontaneous. Alcoholic after alcoholic tells me of such experiences… run nearly the full gamut of everything we see in the books.

In addition to my original mystical experience, I’ve had a lot of such phenomenalism myself.(24)

Wilson’s “original mystical experience” was his alleged “conversion” –a classic occult encounter: “Suddenly the room lit up with a great white light. I was caught up into an ecstasy…it burst upon me that I was a free man…a wonderful feeling of Presence, and I thought to myself, ‘So this is the God of the preachers! ‘ A great peace stole over me….”(25)

This was not the “God of the preachers” but the one who transforms himself “into an angel of light” (2 Cor 1l:l4) - a light that often transforms those involved in the occult.

The experience was so profound that Wilson never touched alcohol again. Satan would he more than willing to deliver a man from alcoholism in this life if thereby he could ensnare him for eternity and inspire him to lead millions to the same destruction!

Wilson joined the Oxford Group and regularly attended its meetings at Calvary Church (NY), pastored by Episcopalian Sam Shoemaker. Shoemaker urged his hearers to “accept God however they might conceive of him….”(26)

Here was the origin of Step 3’s “God as we understood him.” God does not respond to those who call upon false gods. Jesus said, “And this is life eternal, that they might know thee, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent” (Jn 17:3).

God’s judgment comes upon them “that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ (2 Thes 1:8).

I will set my face against that man & his family & will cut off from their people both him & all who follow him in prostituting themselves to Molech.

I will set my face against the person who turns to mediums & spiritists to prostitute him by following them, & I will cut him off from his people. (Leviticus 20: 5, 6)


Moloch the God Ba’al, the Sacred Bull, was widely worshipped in the ancient Near East and wherever Carthaginian culture extended. Baal Moloch was conceived under the form of a calf or an ox or depicted as a man with the head of a bull.

Unknown said...

AS WE UNDERSTAND HIM?
The last part of this statement ("as we understood Him") is enough to damn your soul! God says, Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. (Proverbs 3:5).

This is the exact opposite of "God as we understood Him." All men, according to Romans 1:18-32, are condemned before God, because they rely upon their own understanding (Romans 1:21;

Ephesians 4:18, "having their understanding darkened"), and they create (in their own darkened minds) a god of their own making (Romans 1:23).

Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.

Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. —1 Peter 5:8-9